Pre Fab Cooking

Return of the Faux Gourmet You Know & Love

Taste & See: Real Simple always has these "recipes" that consist of pre-made food products assembled and combined in such a way that they create something new, and ostensibly, wonderful. I've never made one of those recipes. I like cooking, and I've always thought I was too proud to let Betty Crocker or Pillsbury do for me what I'm perfectly capable of doing for myself.

Then again, it is also true that I don't always want to burn my eyes with the heat of a dozen smoking chilies.

Let me explain. A few weeks ago I made the Best. Salsa. Ever. Want the recipe? Grill bell peppers, tomatillos, tomatoes and garlic, smoke some pasilla chilies, grill a half dozen other kinds (chipotle, jalepeno, anaheim, banana, ancho), give it a good coating of ground rock salt, and puree the whole mess. That simple.

It was glorious. It also caused my eyes to sting and water, my face to burn, my throat to hack, my fire alarm to have spasms. In short, there was a price to pay for the glory.

Sure it tasted incredible; it had a deep, smokey flavor that started off mild and slid into a surprising kick, not too spicy to overwhelm the layers of complexity. It was truly glorious. But then again, on a week night when I want to get my dinner together in time to watch Glee, maybe a jar of my fave supermarket salsa will do.

Generally speaking, you'd be amazed at what a little clever doctoring can do to the most banal of base ingredients: leftover cream cheese from a bagle brunch, a can of tomato paste & a bit of bacon stashed in the fridge become a delightful tomato soup; leftover coconut milk and mustard create an oddly satisfying sauce to accompany pumpkin gnocchi. And my ridiculous salsa--or its supermarket substitute--tossed over a bunch of things I tend to have on hand anyway gives me a big pan of enchiladas to last all week.

Do it Yourself: So do you want gourmet smokey salsa? Or do you want dinner? The recipes are easily adapted; make them either way to fit your needs.

Chicken Enchilada Casserole


Ingredients:
4 chicken thighs, skin & bone on
2 small onions, chopped
About 5 cloves garlic
Chicken broth:

• Gourmet: homemade. Martha Stewart's Cooking School (cookbook) has a great chapter on stocks and broths.
• Faux Gourmet: Canned will do, but Better than Bouillon is very tasty & just as easy.

1-2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Approximately 8 small tortillas
Salsa or enchilada sauce:

• Gourmet: 1-2 cups gourmet smokey salsa, described above.
• Faux Gourmet: 1 jar of your favorite supermarket version (smooth, not chunky)
  

Beans:

• Gourmet: 1 cup Accidental Bean Soup, omitting 1 cup yogurt & substituting 3-4 tbsp chevre or cream cheese.
• Faux Gourmet: 1 can black beans, straight up

Instructions
Simmer onions, garlic, chicken thighs and broth to cover in pan on low heat. When chicken is cooked all the way through it will be very soft, falling off bone easily. It will also be quite hot so be careful and use two forks to shred meat, removing bone and skin. Season with salt and pepper.

Build enchiladas in pan, alternating with layers of tortillas, chicken/onion/broth mixture, salsa, black beans, and cheese. Plan for about three layers and divide ingredients accordingly for each layer. Top with final layer of tortillas and cover with cheese.

Bake at 350 until cheese melts, approximately 30 minutes. (Check at 20.)

Tomato (Paste) Soup
Given that you *could* just buy canned tomato soup straight up, you may wonder why bother with making it yourself? Well, little cans of tomato paste, like the one you see in the photo below, generally cost between 69-99 cents and make approximately 3 servings. Really. Your soup will be healthier and full of things like FOOD instead of preservatives and chemicals. You can season it in dozens of interesting ways instead of getting a bland sweet and salty combination punch. And it is really, really easy...the perfect go-to food for a late night rally-snack or a rainy day when you've got nothing to eat. (Except for lots of canned tomato because you read my post, In Praise of Canned Goods, & promptly stocked up. Didn't you. You did, right?)

C'mon lazy people. This is a LAZY recipe. You can do it. And you'll have tomato soup you can be proud of.


Ingredients
Small can of tomato paste
Something creamy:

• Gourmet: About 1/4 cup chevre
• Faux Gourmet: About 1/4 cup cream cheese OR milk

Bacon, chopped, to taste
*Tip: for convenience, slice bacon height-wise rather than width; it is very easy to separate & chop into small pieces this way. I use approximately 1 "inch" of bacon slices in soup for 3 people.
Seasoning

• Gourmet: Fennel seeds, black pepper & garlic salt
  
• Faux Gourmet: Omit fennel
  

Optional additional seasoning:

• Gourmet: Apple cider vinegar & sugar
• Faux Gourmet: Omit apple cider vinegar
  

For other variations try adding chopped roasted red pepper (from a jar or can!), chili flakes, basil and oregano, cumin, paprika, curry powder, ginger...just, not all at the same time.

Instructions
Add tomato paste and 2 cans water (or if omitting cream cheese/chevre, 1 can milk) to pan and stir to combine. Stir in cream cheese/chevre. Simmer over medium heat til hot then turn heat to low.

Meanwhile, briefly fry bacon in skillet. For very decadent soup, add bacon & grease. For not so decadent soup, reserve grease and add bacon.

Season with fennel seeds and garlic salt- approximately 1 tsp each. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You may also want to add a bit of sugar and/or apple cider vinegar to sweeten it up, especially if you're used to Campbells's.

Serve with a grilled cheese sandwich: I recommend a sharp cheddar with a good, sweet mustard and prosciutto.

Faux Gourmet in the Blogosphere!

Oh readers, I miss you. I'm on hiatus again, as you may have guessed by my absence. (You noticed, right?!) I love sharing with you things I eat & cook, and love hearing from you that you love eating and cooking the things I share. It is a big circle of love.

On that note it was extremely gratifying to read someone else blogging about...ME! Wow! The very funny Washington Wineman, aka @WAwineman, tried one of my recipes--remember Lettuce Entertain You? I know you tried to forget but the image of dancing heads of lettuce burned in your mind, you can't escape your longing for lettuce rolls. At least Washington Wineman couldn't. He gave them a try, paired with a Washington wine, naturally, & had this to say (click here for full post):

Tonight's pairing was culled from that current phenomenom known as "social media", aka Twitter. I constantly scan my "followers" list and check their websites for entertainment value and I found one in @TheFauxGourmet, hosted by Jeannie Rose Field of New York. She is a recent graduate of the NYU School of Law and did an internship with the United Nations in Thailand. She is also lesser known for pairing viognier with kimchee soup. Yikes! Get to know her from her excellent essay on ethnicity! Btw, I think you are 100% ethnic American. But, I digress. Getting back to the food pairing, I was so entranced with the pictures from the November 10 blog that I went out and decided to try out the recipe. Got all my ingredients from a Korean market and added some fungibility to "Asian-ize" the recipe, as if it needed any more. If you've had lettuce wraps from PF Chang's, I can tell you her recipe is just as good, yet much more satisfying...because I made it! Oh, and yes, the wine was a wonderful addition with its bold citrus and stone fruit notes. Twitter does work and if you're not on it, I can only ask..."what's on your phonograph tonight, gramps?"

Awwww. Nevermind that I DID NOT PAIR VIOGNIER AND KIMCHEE SOUP. That was a joke gone awry. (Is my wine cred really still in tact after that merciless slander?!) The point is, random stranger found my blog & made food dreamt up in my own little twisted mind & enjoyed it! And that, my friend, is what food blogs are for.

On that note, there are plans in the works. First, word on the street is my long-broken digital camera will soon be replaced! Not by Santa, but by Mack Cam. They've been slow but I think it was Fuji's fault; the Mack Cam folks have been very helpful. Soon and very soon.

Second, I plan to shoot for weekly posts in the new year. I will set aside some time on a weekly basis and make sure I get one out regularly; better than a string of quick entries you barely have time to read followed by a gaping silence that makes you wonder if the Faux Gourmet will ever cook again.

Finally, I hope to transition this blog to wordpress soon...gasp...under a new name & new look. I don't want to say too much until the transition is made but hopefully it will be something that makes it a better food experience for all of us.

In the mean time, Bon Appetite.

Things I Want to Eat NOW

Food News & Quick Bites: I haven't had a chance to write about it here yet, but if you follow me on Twitter you probably know I'm obsessed with a Cambodian (inspired) sandwich place in Manhattan called Numpang. The flavors are incredible; I salivate all day dreaming of the moment I'll walk up to the booth and be handed a grilled shrimp with coconut sandwich drenched in spicy sauce. Oh boy. They're a bit expensive for the size but the flavor is so good I notice every little morsel.

But that was before I met Xie Xie. Today I was reading an article on The Daily Beast about Guy Fieri & his haters. One thing lead to another and soon I was scanning a blurb by NYC chef Angelo Sosa, with whom I attended church for about a year and a half when I first moved here. He recommended Hop Shing, a dumpling haunt in Chinatown. Who doesn't want roast pork buns with a sugary glaze? I quickly yelped it & it has officially moved to my must-try list.

I was tickled to see Sosa on a culture maker/shaker like TDB; it seems, somehow, as much a sign of success as actually working a 4 star kitchen. Curious to see what he's been up to since our paths diverged I clicked on his bio.

Enter Xie Xie, Sosa's new Asian sandwich shop. I may end up remaining devoted to my true love, Numpang, but that doesn't mean I won't be trying half the things on his menu, like shredded pork shoulder marinated in hoisin sauce, oyster sauce, sesame oil, and soy, or his 1000 year old ice cream sandwich with a burnt black fleur de sel caramel center. Take me now! I can't wait to start the brutal process of comparing the rival Asian sandwich joints, one flavorful lunch at a time. (See a review here by someone who has already begun.)

Also on the sweet side, this weekend from 1-5 is the Brooklyn Chocolate Experiment. The event is a cook-off by amateur chefs followed by a free after-party "with chocolate galore." Um, yes please!

Lettuce Entertain You

Because salad is so early 90s.

First reason why I'm sorry: Lettuce find a nicer title...no, lettuce continue to use puns. And lettuce not forget how fun a good pun can be.

Second reason why I'm sorry: all photos courtesy iPhone. Apprently Mack Camera is doing battle with Fuji on my behalf to get my camera fixed but point is...it is still...NOT. Gar!

Third reason why I'm sorry: not to presume you've missed my sassy low-brow cooking but in case you have, I've been away feeding real people in the real world for the past two months. Guests almost every weekend, if you can believe it. Last one for a while left today and I thought I'd commemorate the season of reuniting with old friends by reuniting with y'all. You might not miss me, but I miss you! At least, I miss being able to delude myself I have readers. Same difference.

Taste & See: Tonight's challenge: Use up 2 heads of lettuce. Not in one night, heavens no. Even my celery munching self is not that much of a rabbit. In fact, I am starting to have a Lettuce Problem. My CSA keeps presenting me with these gorgeous, crisp heads of lettuce faster than I can consume it. And in my laziness, I've started eating...plain lettuce. Salads made of torn lettuce and torn lettuce only. And I've learned something very valuable about plain lettuce. It is...gross.

But maybe the problem isn't lettuce, but my callousness. Maybe lettuce just needs a little TLC, a little devotion. I pay attention to sturdy vegetables like carrots and onions but wilty little lettuce has been getting no love. I just throw it in a plastic bag and shove it in the fridge, only pulling out a few leaves when the guilt of ignoring it becomes too much.

Today I resolved I would devote a little more tender loving care to my lettuce. Be gone with these lackluster salads. I would discover other lettucian uses and embark upon a whole new lettuce themed adventure! It sounded impossible, but The Faux Gourmet is nothing if not intrepid.

Let me tell you, as one who has been to the edge & back: It can be done. Since I'm sure reading about lettuce gets old as quickly as eating it, here's a play by play of tonight's mission accomplished: lettuce wraps. Lettuce takes the place of bread in a fresh and light twist on a burrito or eggroll. The filling is up to you--this was inspired by fellow CSA goodies carrots, jalepenos, leeks & radishes. Enjoy!

Do It Yourself: Spiced pork & vegetable slaw lettuce wraps

Dice 1 square inch ginger, 2 large cloves garlic, 1 small jalepeno and saute in oil in large, shallow pan.
Chop 1 leek (or greens of 2-3 leeks OR 2 spring onions) and add when onions are translucent, about 2 minutes.
When leeks soften, about 1 minute, add 2/3 to 1 lb ground pork.
Season with a few good shakes of soy sauce, 1 to 2 tablespoons brown sugar, and a dash of cumin and coriander.
Allow meat to cook until browned; turn down heat to a simmer and cook until most of the liquid evaoprates into a thick sauce.



Buy a food processor. If you already have one, you may skip this step. Armed with your mighty food processor, push 2 carrots, half a cucumber, and 3 radishes (the quantities are, of course, to taste; if you just have a carrot, just use a carrot!) through and make yourself beautiful shredded veggies in seconds.


Combine equal parts soy sauce and sugar, twice as much lime juice, and a dash of sesame oil. Add a dash of sriracha if you like it hot. Stir to make a dipping sauce.


Serve with rice and washed lettuce leaves. To make a wrap, spoon a bit of rice, meat and veggies on lettuce. Top with a small spoonful of dipping sauce and crushed peanuts. Fold bottom third of lettuce "spine" up, then wrap soft sides of lettuce around it. You'll get your fingers messy, but hopefully have fun doing so.


I think I'm going to reward myself for getting this entry together with...another lettuce wrap. Yu-ummy.

We Got the Beet!

I'm still without a good digital camera...it is getting rather frustrating to be unable to photograph anything I cook & has dulled my appetite for writing. I'm trying...and I really need to stop prefacing my blog posts with this. But the good photo below is way better than my photo below. Sigh...

Tossing in a magic ingredient
makes winter veggies pretty in pink

Photo from Pinch My Salt Food Blog

Taste & See: You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to beat the riddle- between the limited number of pink plants out there and the title of this post, most of you are probably on to the magical powers of the beet. Beat away your preconceptions regarding this underappreciated little globule, often relegated to canned purple gelatinous Thanksgiving side-dishes. A beet can be so much more!

Bet you didn't know sugar beets are used in making table sugar, did you? Or that beets were grown in ancient Babylon & ancient China? Who's late to the game now? Thousands of years of agriculture can't be wrong! Of course beets did lose their popularity with the advent of spinach. Whatever happened to make new friends but keep thee old? I say, time to bring that beet back. Even if the President isn't a fan.

If you're anything like me (lazy & vain), you're beaten down things like beets because you don't relish (pun intended!) the idea of purple fingers. I had a whole sack of CSA beets I was avoiding for just that reason until my cousin Linda came to visit with her simple solution: cook unpeeled. Doh. Why didn't I think of that? Beaten by the beets no longer!

Following her advice I slit off the tops and bottoms, stabbed with a fork a few times, and loaded them into my go-to roasting pan. But it looked so sad and lonely with only purple orbs. Fall wants more color--orange carrots, golden onions, brown and red potatoes...all those hardy creatures of the underground just waiting to be jazzed up with a stunner like beets. I didn't bother to peel the carrots or potatoes so the prep took mere minutes. Everything went in the roasting pan, along with a healthy toss of salt, pepper & herbs, and about 30 minutes later I had a pink roasted cornucopia.


While you can't necessarily see it in the photo above...the dish was so pretty! Even before peeling the beets, which was a snap after they'd softened (but still gave me purple fingeritis) their color had bled to the rest of the dish in a most lovely way, giving a shockingly magenta sheen to the usually earthy roots & tubers. I served it with rice, which also became speckled with pink. Even better, the tangy flavor from the beets was set off ever so perfectly by the buttery, salty base flavor of the rest of the dish. And you can't beat a dish that comes together so quickly, with so little effort.

If you've been avoiding beets, don't beat yourself up. Beat the habit with a beet rehab program, starting with of pink roasted cornucopia of your own.

Do It Yourself: Pretty in Pink Roast Beets

Ingredients
There is no set amount of each vegetable; use what you have on hand or what you like to fill a roasting pan. Suggested vegetables: potatoes, sweet potatoes, parsnips, celery, carrots, onions, yams, garlic, and of course beets.

For a four person serving, I used approximately 2 onions, 2 potatoes, 3 carrots, 2 medium stalks celery, & 6 small beets & and 4 cloves of garlic.

Seasoning suggestions: I used ground pepper, garlic salt, olive oil, and chopped sage, parsley and carrot greens. Rosemary would also add a nice woodsy flavor.

Instructions
Pre-heat oven to 350 F.
Do not chop beets, but cut off tops and bottoms and stab with a fork.
Chop vegetables roughly into bite-sized pieces. Save onions, vegetables can be roasted with skins on if well-washed.
Season to taste.
Cover with foil and cook for approximately 30 mintues. Test vegetables; if soft, remove. If not, continue checking in 10 minute intervals.
Peel beets when cool and chop into bite-sized pieces.

Serve with rice or hearty bread and apple cider.

See also: Check out some of these other beet recipes...it is enough to make you actually start craving beets!

Cafe Fernando: Beet soup looks simply divine.
Simply Recipe: Pickled beets, to feed your craving all winter long.
The Kitchen Table: Beet risotto with greens
White on Rice: Beet ice cream. NOW you're talking...
Pinch My Salt: Chocolate Beet Muffins. I'm not making this up...

And for the inquiring minds among us:

Tournament of the Tubers: Not surprisingly, beets lose to sweet potatoes.
All about Beets: The author of this easily surpasses my beet-related passion.